The calm at the center of a pearl

August 14, 2007

My sister’s keeper — or introspection when you least want it.

Filed under: Journaling — kyraninse @ 2:49 pm

I flipped through Jodi Picoult’s “My sister’s keeper” today.

I’ve resisted reading fiction for a while. I go for science fiction, fantasy, romance set in alternate worlds and time periods — but never pure, unadulterated fiction.

I used to say that I just wasn’t interested in what the offerings were, that I was occupied enough with the massive barrage of people trying to buy into the next vampire flick, the next werewolf pulp.

The truth is, I can’t deal.

My sister’s keeper is amazingly well-written, but I couldn’t slog through it.

I’m a depressed person, I know this. I know for a fact that I’m only functional through some strange combination of fear of failing at suicide, inertia, and my up-bringing.

Now I have it driven home that I can’t/won’t read fiction because it always hits too close too home.

Angst about not having magic, having too much magic, magical plagues, being unable to shape-shift, being able to shape-shift…yada yada yada.

See, that’s fine. It’s not real, and whereas I can sympathize, it’s still not real. Not going to happen in my world. Also, the wonderful upside of either magic or awesomely advanced science is that most tragedies can either be averted or undone.

Right now there’s no magic to keep reality at bay and I just want to dive face first into whatever supernatural fluff is on my reading shelf. Introspection really isn’t all its cracked up to be.

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