The calm at the center of a pearl

November 2, 2007

Gimping self is ultimately FTL.

Filed under: Journaling — kyraninse @ 7:40 pm

Granted, I only heard about it last Sunday or so, really.

But, what’s so difficult about typing up a 400 word abstract on your Senior Independent Study and submitting it for review for the possibility to enter in the Midwestern Psychological Association’s convention?

Not very much, admittedly.

However, I’ve put it off and put it off — using the excuse: “Well, I don’t want to go to grad school for psychology anyways —so even if I were able to be accepted (only 10% don’t get accepted) — it doesn’t matter much if I do or don’t anyways.”

Right now, I’m taking a hard look at my psyche and not liking it a whole lot.

The fact is, even if I didn’t go to grad school in the end, having someone like this on my resume would be pretty kick-ass. Another fact is, in order for my bachelor’s degree is psychology to mean anything, grad school is pretty much a given.

Of course, 1.5 hours away from the submission deadline, I’m sitting here whining on my blog about what a loser I am.

— I’m not going to be able to get it in on time, because I don’t have time to write it AND have my adviser read it over to sponsor it, which she needs to do. Anyways, I suck.

The real reason why I didn’t do it is:

  1. I’m a lazy bum
  2. I’m a scaredy-cat lazy bum and the idea of speaking at a convention makes me want to hide in a corner –which I did, essentially.
  3. Safety zone — need I say more? Also, I’m lazy.

*sigh* I’m going to go practice some more self-hate now.

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