The calm at the center of a pearl

January 28, 2008

First time puking from booze — 1/27/08

Filed under: Journaling — kyraninse @ 2:08 am

Let’s just say, it wasn’t a great experience.

Let’s also say, it’s funny how playing WoW makes me want to get drunk.

Anyways. After 4 hours spent helping guildies get their Ogri’la daily pre-reqs done, I was ready to get drunk. I had originally thought that it would take an hour tops. It’s 5 or 6 quests, and we had 3 guildies — easy, right?

*rolls eyes* The tank left after the 3rd one was done because he had been playing for 12 hours straight and needed a break. Which was cool, y’know, since he didn’t need the quests anyways. Then one of the guildies presumably got parental aggro because he logged without saying anything. But then we were stuck in the unique situation of needing 5 people to summon the mob for the next quest. So — 20 minutes later after paying someone to come help, two other people show up. Cool. Except after we summon and kill the mob, we discover that one of them needs the first 3 done. Considering that we need people to help period, we go back and re-do the first two. Then the person who needs the first 3 DCs suddenly, logs back on, and is apparently AFK. We sit around and wait for a while. 5 minutes later, we kick him, invite another, and go do phase 4 again…

And the entire thing took me 4 hours. And I was helping guildies that were going to / are going to leave my guild because they want to go raid. I knew this. But I don’t like not helping when I can. But it SUCKS to be used, even when it’s myself offering myself up for the using.

So I head over to Charseph’s room to get boozed up.

A couple of hours and 1/3 of a bottle of vodka later, I go home. I felt woozy and tipsy and I couldn’t walk in a straight line, but I didn’t feel too soaked.

Went home, fell in bed, woke myself up puking.

Pulled myself out of bed, wandered down the hallway naked, staggered into the shower.

Cue more puking.

At some point I couldn’t keep myself upright and sat on the floor — next thing I know I was picking myself up from the floor and the shower was still running.

I go back to my room and see that it’s 7:30 in the morning and my bed’s a mess.


I’m more discomfited by the fact that I wasn’t feeling drunk to begin with. Considering that once I got horrible stomach pains after drinking, and that I was mostly nauseous (no hangover) for most of today,  it might be that my stomach just doesn’t like copious amounts of alcohol.

Disturbing to think that even drinking some would result in puking my guts out and feeling like I had the stomach flu all day. Or maybe it was because I only had two hamburgers to eat all day yesterday and I started drinking on a mostly empty stomach this morning at 1am?


Not a great experience.  Still curious about my alcohol tolerance though. Also still curious about why I still play WoW.


January 25, 2008

The things parents do to their offspring…

Filed under: Journaling — kyraninse @ 3:39 pm

I once heard somewhere that children are like glassware; while bringing them up, there is always the inevitable smudge or crack that you will leave upon them.

Just because it’s inevitable.

Well, all I have to say to that is, some smudges may be inevitable, but some are just downright plain careless.

I work at the library and I see the most awe-inspiring names.

Names that make me shake my head and want to have a gander inside the head of the person who thought this would be a great idea.

  • Amber Dawn — there’s also not just one, but two people saddled with this name on Facebook. Frankly, I’m appalled.
  • Elizabeth Bailey Wakefield — Sweet Valley High, anyone? Oh dear.
  • xxx the III  – First of all, that’s just asking for teasing. Secondly, who needs to be the III or IV of anything?
  • Delicious / Precious Dick — No, I’m not kidding — their last name IS Dick.
  • Prince  — just…huh?

Then there’s the terribly New- Agey names. Much like Amber Dawn, except worse. At least with Amber Dawn you might be able to get away with being called Amber and just put Amber D (surname) on legal papers. Dakota Rain is an awesome double whammy. Not to mention the requisite Raven, Rowan, Rhiannon, Rainbow…

Also the craze over naming kids for places. No more naming kids Paris, please. The two in the news are quite more than enough. Or any other noun – Apple springs to mind.

And could we not name children after gods while we’re at it? The last definitely depends upon culture. It’s really one thing for Asian Indians to do it, but having an American couple name their child Athena is just — *cringe*.

Lastly, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, naming your child something and then spelling it in a “innovative” way is just – no, no, and NO. One such name (Krystyna ) nearly made me want to bang my head against the wall. Or Ryvre (River). As with clothing, trying too hard just isn’t attractive. Seriously.

* Actually, Ryvre could be a pretty attractive name in its own right if it wasn’t trying so hard to be River.

January 23, 2008

Children of the Moon… sound familiar?

Filed under: Journaling — kyraninse @ 1:33 am

I was reading the Children of the Moon series by Sunny and it really pole-axed me how many aspects in her stories remind me of Anne Bishop’s Dark Jewels trilogy.

This brings me to wonder: Considering that it seems like there’s a very definite type of book being published now, how acceptable is it to lift ideas from best-selling authors? Or even, to give other authors the benefit of the doubt, how acceptable is it also, to lift an idea that resonates with you?

That also leads me to wonder — a lot — just what the heck does Anne Bishop think about Sunny’s book? It’s not as if it’s really easily over-look-able that there’s a LOT of blatently lifted thing.

Patricia Briggs once mentioned somewhere, I forget where, that she didn’t really want to spring for the two potential love interest plot bunny, but her publishers “highly encouraged” it. (no, none of that is a quote, I’m paraphrasing)

It’s not that readers don’t notice it either. More than one person has commented on how certain series seem to be similar to best-selling series written by another author. More than one has also commented on how there seems to be similar plot bunnies fornicating like crazy.

  • More than one love interest (this…is a HUGE one)
  • More than one sexual lover (also big)
  •  OMG crazy stupid powers that she doesn’t know how to use or even that she has ’em. (…can I say, HATRED?)
  • Sleeping / having sexual tension with powerful men, and multiples of them at that.

…and those are just the ones I can come up with off the bat.

I wonder what other readers think. I know I’m pretty sick of the same old plot bunnies fornicating in the same old green fields. Not to mention some other peeves I have hidden in the closet.

  • I really hate how you can shut a woman up by making her wild with desire. Seriously, I’ve never been over-come with lust before just by someone standing there. And what’s with the “omg kiss the woman to shut her up and it works and she melts against you” shtick?
  •  Deus ex Machina. Lord save me from the blundering female lead who manages to get everything right against ALL odds.
  • the “I hate you I hate you I hate you and I’m NOT being rational about it …until I suddenly hop in bed with you and that makes it all better” plot bunny. (I’d like to shoot this particular bunny in the face — multiple times)


January 21, 2008

Ghost wolf no longer tame-able… /mourn

Filed under: Journaling — kyraninse @ 12:23 am

I realize I’m slightly behind on this — to the point where the thread complaining about it has already been locked.

But I have to say, this is another straw on the camel’s back.

Regardless of what other people may say regarding semantics and splitting hairs with the use of language — hunters across the board, including me, interpreted what they said as “we will not be pulling this feature from the game because it’s a cool way of doing things” as “we will not be changing this”.

Secondly, if you do want to split hairs, it’s underhanded and nasty to pull the feature without saying anything beforehand. Especially as you need to rustle up 200+ gold for the Mystical Skyfire Diamond, a priest to MC, a shaman with Heroism/Bloodlust, a LW with the drums, and preferably some Juju Flurry.

I’ve been having issues with Blizzard for some while now, but this pretty much takes the brownie for the day. I’ve been debating staying on WoW and this certainly doesn’t help matters.

Why WoW is getting less fun:

  • I’m probably never going to see end-game content and I’m getting increasingly bitter about that.
  • Blizz seems to be catering to the PvP crowd and as I prefer PvE, it means there are many things which tick me off regarding their policies surrounding the issue.
  •  Blizz doesn’t seem to care over-much about hunters – it’s really depressing

Regarding end-game content:

  • I don’t feel like re-speccing BM just to be competitive as a DPSer for raids.
  • There’s not a large demand for hunters for 25-mans that I can see. Most guilds I’ve asked after have their hunter class closed to applications.
  •  The general dynamic surrounding raiding guilds (of the ones I’ve been exposed to) doesn’t appeal.
  • I don’t really want to raid more than 2 nights a week if I can help it. Unfortunately, that coupled with my general rebelliousness doesn’t help the end-game progression.  (I’m admitting freely that 99% of this really is my personality not meshing with the general raiding atmosphere)

PvP vs PvE:

  •  The fact that S1 bow is better than the Thrallmar exalted bow pisses me off. I don’t think it’s fair to the people who farmed out the Thrallmar bow for it to be so blatantly sub-par to the gladiator’s crossbow.
  • I’m marginally less peeved, because it IS S3, but still peeved that Legacy < S3 axe. Seriously, a rare drop off of a mob that doesn’t show up all the time in a 10 man raid is < than a pvp axe which you can get by losing 10 arena matches a week for — what, 10 weeks?
  • BG epics piss me off, since Blizz still hasn’t found out a way to stop afkers. I say the Battleground leader should just be given the ability to boot the afkers.

And I don’t even want to go into why playing a hunter isn’t fun anymore. Meh.

January 18, 2008

On bananas and eggs.

Filed under: Uncategorized — kyraninse @ 11:05 pm

❤ to Akhil, he always makes me laugh.


Akhil picks through the big glass bowl of bananas, the look on his face becoming increasingly more dissatisfied.

Finally, he turns to me, the closest known person in sight and demands: “Tell me why this banana is still green but also has rotting brown spots.”

I look at the banana, which is, admittedly, really rather repulsive. It was a sickly yellow with green ridges and it had a uniform scattering of small round freckles.

I bite my lower lip to hold in the laughter and explain as best as I can, “Well, they pick the bananas when they’re still very green and ship them like that. Then once they get to wherever they want it, they put them into gas chambers to make them ripen, which is why it’s green and brown all at the same time…” I trail off at the look of disgust on his face.

He looks straight at me and says with mournful contempt: “This is such a nasty country.”

I dissolve into giggles as he walks away, his voice still trailing along behind him, “…such a nasty country.”


A friend of mine was talking about donating her eggs. Or rather, if we want to be crude about it, to sell her eggs.

I looked it up, and it’s not bad — about 5k for a donation, and if you repeatedly donate and your eggs have shown to have been viable, you can often even get a better price.

Even better for Asian donors, apparently. I was surprised that there was even a demand for it. But there is, because Asians are less likely to want to donate in the first place, it seems.

And here I thought we were moving past primogeniture and offspring obsession.

January 17, 2008

Autism, Aspergers and excuses.

Filed under: Journaling — kyraninse @ 8:28 pm

We had Ralph Savarese as a classroom speaker today. For those that don’t know, he wrote Reasonable People, a memoir about autism and adoption.

I’m sometimes struck by how — insensitive — I can be. I don’t think I’m a cruel person, in fact I like to think of myself as a relatively kind person who wants to be fair and helpful at least most of the time. But there are often, often instances in which I find myself thinking horrible, terrible, heartless things.

As I was sitting in class, I wrote that sometimes I’d like to attempt to hide behind the shield of Asperger’s, an autism spectrum disorder. Over-diagnosed, supra-medicated, too much sugar used to coat the bitter pill of life. I know this. I do not deny it. Doesn’t lessen the desire though.

I’ve read a bit on Asperger’s. Some fit, most don’t. Therefore I don’t have that to hide behind.

Pity. Now I just have to come to terms with the idea that maybe I am a horrible person.  Without patience, without compassion beyond painfully limited tolerance — there are times when I can’t abide myself much less abide others.

I think that children with problems such as DJ has and had should be adopted and loved. The idea that there are children out there that irresponsible people brought into this world and then proceeded to allow life to mistreat is horrifying. I cringe when I hear about people spending a fortune on in vitro procedures, yet unwilling to adopt when it’s all for naught. I wince at the idea of people flocking en masse to China to adopt babies. I once told my friend that I would like to become a foster parent some day and help give a little love to those who need it.

I don’t know if I can. It’s so hard to keep feeling love when I so often want to kick and scream with the worst of them.

So easy to just hide behind being an immature, self-centered little bitch.

I disturb myself.

January 16, 2008

For love of — anorexia?

Filed under: Journaling — kyraninse @ 2:58 pm

I’ve been reading Utne. The Jan/Feb issue for 2008 has a couple of articles on obesity and prejudice and yada yada yada.

I’m a psych major. I should know better — but I don’t.

It has been scientifically documented that obese people earn less, are more likely to be rejected for jobs, more likely to be rejected as a applying renter, more likely to be considered more stupid/lazy/un-hygienic, etc.

This past vacation, I went with my parents on a volunteer effort in China. There was this other, older woman, who was an alternative medicine practitioner. She was trained in yoga, acupuncture, etc. What was amazing, and infuriating, was that she never failed, on the near two weeks we were both there, to remind me about my weight. Whether indirectly telling me to self-massage more because it helped with weight loss or directly telling me I needed to lose weight — she never failed to comment on it one way or the other.

I went from fury to resignation to plain confusion.

What was this woman’s issue? What made her feel like she had the right to tell me such things, in such a non-diplomatic, one could even say harsh manner, day in and day out?

I’m 5 feet exactly on a good day. I weigh 60 kg. It’s true that I could stand to lose some weight, but I’m not obese – except if one really wanted to stretch the definition.

Courtney E. Martin talks about how she also has this snide little voice inside her head that comments on the weight of women around her. She said she was horrified by what that little voice has to say sometimes.

I have that same little voice.

I wonder how is it that we have been reduced to this.

Call me out if I’m wrong, but the social conditioning I’ve received tells me that women are the enemy. Including myself. There’s only so much love, job opportunities, friends, etc to go around. Women are to be feared, warded against, struck down before they can get in a strike first. It’s not just the weight, although that’s an issue. It’s the entire mindset that people are not just people, but potential enemies.

Is that why I feel compelled to dish out criticism of everyone I come across? Is the rat race to blame?

Or are we just cruel at heart?

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