The calm at the center of a pearl

June 21, 2008

Traumatized my brother — I think.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — kyraninse @ 11:21 pm

My brother just talked to me, asked me what was going on, etc.
He hasn’t talked to me properly in a while now, so I can’t help but think that my parents asked him to chat with me more to get a handle on my mood.
I talked with my dad recently about being depressed and I think I really surprised him because apparently he thought that me going on Prozac a while ago was just a “phase” I was going through.
So my brother asked me how I felt, and I told him the truth. I haven’t talked to him much, make that almost not that all, over the past four years, and I didn’t feel like fobbing him off with the usual “fine, thanks”.
I don’t know how he took the onslaught of information I gave him — I don’t even know if he was confused or bewildered by it. He’s such an amazingly composed person so often.
I often feel saddened that our family isn’t as close knit as it could be — I’m somewhat envious of a friend who has a familial list-serv and another who seems to have a much better extended family dynamic than I do.
But then, I’ve always felt like the duckling in the middle of swans when it comes to them.

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2 Comments »

  1. I hate when parents think you are going through a phase. My parents denied mine for a bit, then were like OH WE KNEW FROM THE START LOL.

    Just remember you have good friends. Sometimes that can be better than family. Yeah that was lame.

    Comment by Jenn — July 15, 2008 @ 11:37 pm

  2. To the commenter above me… ahaha it’s lame but true… and my parents did the same thing… saying i was just on a bad down time or something then claiming they knew all along.

    For me being the only bipolar in my family (atleast the only one admitting to it) it has been hard, huge HUGE misunderstandings. I really do not feel like a part of my family at all really.

    I hope you get better though. You can always talk to me.

    Comment by Jenn (the other one) — November 6, 2009 @ 8:26 pm


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