The calm at the center of a pearl

June 21, 2008

Traumatized my brother — I think.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: — kyraninse @ 11:21 pm

My brother just talked to me, asked me what was going on, etc.
He hasn’t talked to me properly in a while now, so I can’t help but think that my parents asked him to chat with me more to get a handle on my mood.
I talked with my dad recently about being depressed and I think I really surprised him because apparently he thought that me going on Prozac a while ago was just a “phase” I was going through.
So my brother asked me how I felt, and I told him the truth. I haven’t talked to him much, make that almost not that all, over the past four years, and I didn’t feel like fobbing him off with the usual “fine, thanks”.
I don’t know how he took the onslaught of information I gave him — I don’t even know if he was confused or bewildered by it. He’s such an amazingly composed person so often.
I often feel saddened that our family isn’t as close knit as it could be — I’m somewhat envious of a friend who has a familial list-serv and another who seems to have a much better extended family dynamic than I do.
But then, I’ve always felt like the duckling in the middle of swans when it comes to them.


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